I've dedicated several mixtapes to friends I speak to online, or have met because of online interaction. A follow-up to "Caught In Static", "Paralysis" is dedicated to Annastay from talking to me about her condition. I wanted to create something that was contemplative, warm and useful for capturing a joyful, stable state of mind beyond what paralysis constitutes - with a fair helping of static noise to round off the spectral suspension.
Annastay was misdiagnosed for years and it turns out the culprit was lyme disease. It caused her "to be really ill over years; I was fatigued constantly, pain moved around to different region of my body causing severe tightness or numbness while the muscles would go into complete spasm throughout the day. As these problems progressed, the spasms started to linger in one limb or two for days on end. I had years where I couldn't even sit in comfort. I had to keep moving around due to the intensity of pain, not being able to sit still for 15 minutes. I had stopped sleeping, whereby then I started to have severe anxiety/mental problems (as you can imagine anyone would in this situation). Environment and large amounts of stress can cause these problems to surface with anyone with a dispostion to them, let alone chronic health problems of this extent.
The lyme attacks the blood effecting your brains' neurological pathways. My cognitive function has been severely affected, and my short term memory basically non-existent; I still can't remember names to anything really. I constantly have to ask or check who an artist is when listening throughout the duration of a song if I want to try and remember it. I had gone untreated for so long, that it's invaded my entire neurological system and inhibited deeply in my ligaments and muscles.
I could barely walk at points over the years. Yet my condtion and how I feel is still invisible to people and even most doctors. Now that I've finally started some antibiotics for the last 6 months I've luckily started to begin to sleep again more than just an hour at a time, and had small improvements in some areas of pain but my brain is worse than ever from the dying off of the spiroketes - I have days where I literally cant connect any of the thoughts I have or take much action on any ideas I might have on the creative front, which is frustrating as inspiration or productivity is hard to come by while going through all this.
I've always fought through the symptoms and worked on music, but the last few years has been the hardest and most devastating as this wasn't possible. I had no outlet for expression or release of feelings as my shoulder was not able to take extended time on a mouse or drum kit. The treatment is not clear-cut nor the same for anyone with this disease and will take years to treat. I was fortunate enough to have it show up on a blood test finally."
Conversely to "Caught In Static", the pieces here are more focused. Last Days makes a late appearance as "Nothing Stays The Same, Nothing Ever Ends" (from The Safety Of The North) on "Caught In Static" resonated with her over the other tracks. To initiate the idea for suitable music I thought to myself: "What would someone paralyzed like to listen to?" Then I extended this to "What can free the listener's inhibitions to fight paralysis as the problem?" I concluded from these judgments that I required tunes that weren't fleeting, had a large amount of sustain, and evolved in texture. Consequently the files' runtime is a fair bit shorter.
TRACKLISTING
01. Machinefabriek - Weightless (remix) (from the album Bijeen)
02. Keith Berry - The Other Shore (rework of Fessended sounds) (from the album Bleu Resultat)
03. BJ Nilsen - Viking North (from the album The Short Night)
04. Ivan Ckonjevic - Umesto Bujenja (from the album Plavi Bicikl)
05. Apalusa - Small Environs 2 (from the album Small Environs)
06. Carl Sagan's Ghost - Solitude II (from the album At The End Of It All)
07. Stars Of The Lid - Articulate Silences Pt. 1 (from the album And Their Refinement Of The Decline)
08. mwvm - Negative Pole (from the album Rotations)
09. Wereju - Forsaken (from the album The Way Of The Cross)
10. Last Days - Nightlight (from the album Sea)
Download
Related links
underourskin.com: watch
Lyme disease: wikipedia
15 Minutes Of Fame: archive
Another very important link/resource for anyone who thinks they may have lyme or is diagnosed or if someone close to you has; http://www.lymenet.org/
ReplyDeleteSending my best wishes to Annastay and you.
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